Parenting

Often, I take for granted that what I know as it relates to parenting, is not common knowledge. Even though it seems so intuitive in a way, for some, it is not. More recently I have been exposed to parents that 1. should not be parents 2. are completely overwhelmed, and in my opinion, are overwhelmed because they lack the parenting tools to help them work through issues like rules, consequences and following through. I would think that every soon-to-be parent would take a class on parenting. Apparently, not everyone does.
I spent time with a friend today that has completely overwhelmed me with the chaos in her life. I actually spent the weekend with this friend. It is a marriage that is loosely held together by two children, who are crying out for love and attention in their home. There is an awkwardness between husband and wife; tension you could cut with a knife. Routine is absent. The children fall asleep where ever they land. They need Super Nanny! The children are easy to love though. I think I feel frustrated the most because I think of how I want my family life to look and this is my worst nightmare. When I envision my life with children in it, I imagine a considerable amount of chaos: science experiments in the backyard, dirty hands and faces, loud laughter, owies and things that help me learn to roll with the punches. However, I also envision that after dinner, children helping with the chores according to the chore chart assignment for the week, family prayer, baths, brushing of teeth, reading stories, checking for monsters, more prayers and putting the little ones to bed. After the little ones are tucked away, I envision time to spend with the older children and more quiet time. I know there will be days when I come downstairs and look over at my husband, both of us exhausted, where we faintly but lovingly smile at one another before heading off to bed shortly after.
There is something so powerful about routines and rituals that strengthen our families and our homes. It is through the small and simple ways that we show our love for our spouse, children and invite the spirit to dwell within our walls. Failure in our homes is not an option. Our children need more to survive as valiant saints but I don't think enough parents know. Knowledge is power; it increases our ability to act for ourselves and not be acted upon. To make good, better and best choice, we must know what is available.
My heart aches for what is currently absent in my life. To have come so close to actually being a parent myself, and then having that taken, cuts deeper than any wound I have ever experienced. I know Father knows best, and has been so mindful of my needs. I know that my time will come but I must exercise patience. I am currently reading The Peacegiver, which is an incredible book. For anyone that is struggling in their marriage, I would highly recommend it. I would even suggest that anyone read it as it teaches about the Atonement in a way unlike anything I have ever read before. You also never know who's life it may touch should someone turn to you for help or counsel.
I can feel myself cooling down. I don't think many people read my blog, but it feels good to put it out there. To be semi-anonymous but have a space to vent, a place for my thoughts, and the funny things I can't say out loud.